Excuse Me Ullr, I'm Over Here

This is a team effort.

I can't do this by myself.

I need everyone's help.

And when I say everyone, I mean EVERYONE!

But most importantly...

Your help!

What do I need your help for?

Calling to the snow gods!

Duh...!

(I know I'd be a great sales person, you don't need to tell me.)

My very intelligent father tells me that there's a Norwegian Snow God, named Ullr, and many sources from the internet confirm this. But, according to Wikipedia, there's also a Finnish Snow God named Heikki Lunta. So not only are we calling to one snow god, but two!

Why am I so persistent on calling to the Snow Gods? Simple. We. Need. Snow. It's just down right depressing how little snow we have.

Normally during Sundance we have a huge sledding party (Sleddance) on my GIGANTIC sledding hill but the past two years it hasn't happened. And currently it's dirt and bushes with a sprinkling of snow.

This is very imperative to call to the snow gods because currently they are very confused on where it is supposed to snow. Cause excuse me Ullr, but it's supposed to snow in Utah not the East Coast!

So I need your help to change this weather pattern, call to the Snow God, but most importantly, make it SNOWWW! And here's how I plan to do it.

The Four Steps To Call To The Snow Gods So They Will Make It Snow!

1. Sacrafice!

This is said to be the most important step because this is what initially attracts their attention. You could sacrifice your brother, mother or even grandmother depending on how urgently you need it to snow. Okay... just kidding! DO. NOT. SACRIFICE. YOUR. GRANDMOTHER. UNDER. ANY. CIRCUMSTANCES. I mean if anything sacrifice a brownie and some hot chocolate to the snow god. Maybe even a pig... Oink oink!

2. The Snow Dance Ritual 

Um.... I couldn't think of a better way to explain this than to show you myself. So enjoy this horribly humiliating video of me doing my snow dance ritual...

P.S. I don't have any friends to do The Snow Dance Ritual with but I'm sure you do. So do a snow dance ritual with them, because the more people you have, the stronger the force!

3. Hopes Of A Snow Day 

There are multiple things you have to do to convince the snow gods you are truly committed. You might remember doing crazy silly things in elementary school when there were hopes of a snow day. Yeah, well those silly little things are apart of this process of making it snow. And if you want it to snow you have to do each and every single one of these things.

Make sure when you go to bed tonight you wear your pajamas inside-out and backwards (bonus points if they're footsie pajamas) along with a spoon under your pillow. But before you do that you have to run circles around the table and flush ice cubes down the toilet. Make sure they are actual ice cubes, no crushed ice, it's a very common mistake. But most importantly you have to throw ice outside so they get the hint of exactly what it is you want.

4. Pray

Simple as it sounds. Pray to both snow gods individually and wait for the magic to begin.

Do I think these things actually work?

Of course I do!

Who do you think I am!?!?!

Jeez.

I mean my dad (the one who knows everything) did tell me about one time when my he was little, vacationing in Maine, he had a 103 fever and the forecast was rain. So you know what he did? He went and did a snow dance calling to the snow god, Ullr. Then he claims that his fever disappeared almost instantly and the forecast changed to snow.

That's enough proof for me and should be for you to.

Because you are going to call to the snow gods wether you like it or not.

At this point, you don't have a choice.